


"Do you have a band-aid?" and other great pickup lines

by MadameBaggio



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arthur is shameless, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack Crossover, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Mild Sexual Content, Pick-Up Lines, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:20:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22254055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameBaggio/pseuds/MadameBaggio
Summary: Sansa Stark doesn't know what's going on.Well, besides Arthur throwing every single pickup line he's ever heard at her.He can't be serious; it's been years!
Relationships: Arthur (King Arthur: Legend of the Sword)/Sansa Stark
Comments: 54
Kudos: 89





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write Arthur using bad pickup lines on Sansa, so... Yeah lol

Arthur Pendragon was a fixture in the Stark’s life. He’d been Robb and Jon’s best friend for a long time. He was charming, funny and damn right sneaky when he wanted to.

Sansa had had a crush on him when she was 14, and it lasted one whole year, but Arthur was older and he already dated girls his age, so eventually Sansa moved on -quite badly actually, since she started dating Joffrey Baratheon and all.

As she got older the crush became just a distant memory, something she connected with childish dreams. 

Arthur -for his part -gave her silly nicknames, some of them sweet, but he did the same to Arya and -shockingly -even Catelyn.

She never minded much when he called her ‘sweetheart’ or ‘doll’ or ‘princess’ because he went around calling many girls many names. Theon said it was because he couldn’t be bothered to learn the names of all the women in his life, to which Arthur always replied: “I’m not you.”

Anyway, Sansa was mostly used to him and his ways. She was convinced he -like Theon -had put her on this untouchable category, since she was Robb’s sister and there was a bro code.

Then, one day, when she was 19, the following situation happened:

It was during the summer break; Sansa was home from college when she found Arthur sitting -more like sprawling -on their couch, happily munching on something.

She sat beside him and recognized the red package on his hands. “You have skittles?” She asked, already getting ready to demand some.

“Yep.” He popped the ‘p’. “Wanna kiss and taste the rainbow?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Sansa was so shocked for a minute, she didn’t know how to answer. “What?” She blushed furiously.

Arthur laughed. “Have it all, Red.” He gave her the bag and winked at her before getting up and leaving her there, blushing.

What the hell?

xxx

Sansa thought that was a fluke, or maybe boredom on Arthur’s part and then…

She was standing on the kitchen, having tea, when Arthur came in and grabbed an apple. He was there every single day now, just like Theon.

He looked down at her feet. “Hey, tie your shoes.” Sansa looked down, and sure enough, her shoes were untied. “I don’t want you falling for anyone else.” He quipped before leaving the kitchen.

Had he just…?

xxx

They were all watching ‘Labyrinth’ -Bran loved that movie -and Sansa had just sung along ‘Magic Dance’, when Arthur turned to her, a grin on his lips. “Red, you’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.”

“Shut up!” She protested blushing like mad, which only made him laugh and the others tell them to be quiet.

xxx

The summer was almost over when Sansa had enough of all this. She was confused as hell by Arthur’s flirting, so she decided to figure out what the hell was going on.

“Well, here I am.” Arthur said cheekily, opening his arms. “What were your other two wishes?”

She gave him a flat look. “Arthur, what is going on?” She asked directly. “What’s all this flirting?”

That gave him pause. “Oh. I’m sorry, I was… I was just pulling your leg, but if I’m making you uncomfortable…”

“What makes me uncomfortable is how cheesy you are.” Sansa replied quickly, happy she hadn’t made a fool out of herself.

“Cheesy?” Arthur said dramatically. “I can get so much worse.”

“You should not be proud of that.” She giggled.

“Are you lost ma'am?” He suddenly asked, clearly overdoing it. “Because heaven is a long way from here.”

Sansa exploded in laughter.

That was how the flirting started.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur continues proving he is Casanova reborn.

When she came home for Christmas, she wasn’t shocked to find Arthur and Theon there. She’d brought Margaery along to keep her company, but it was nice to see the familiar laughing faces.

“Sweetheart.” Arthur hugged her, making her feet leave the ground. “You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.”

“You’re shameless.” Sansa replied rolling her eyes.

“It’s part of my charm.”

****

“There is something wrong with my phone.” Arthur said conversionatilly during that winter break.

Sansa was already prepared for some bullshit.

“It doesn't have your number in it.” He told her, shaking his phone at her.

Sansa snorted, then grabbed it to put her number in it. “If you send me stupid jokes, I’ll block you.” She warned.

He didn’t; he sent her cat pictures.

***

They were having hot chocolate with whipped cream, and Sansa got some on her nose.

“Did you just take my picture?” She demanded, looking at Arthur.

“Yeah.” He confirmed easily. “I’m sending it to Santa so he knows exactly what I want for Christmas”

“Did you hear that?” Theon asked Robb, before turning to Arthur. “Are you flirting with Sansa?” He demanded, clearly shocked.

“Me?” Arthur’s tone was outraged. “I’d never!”

“No, he just bought a brand new pick-up lines’ book and is testing them.” Sansa teased.

Her family and friends didn’t look convinced.

***

During Christmas’ lunch, Arthur put his arm around her. “What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in the room?”

Before Sansa could open her mouth, Margaery called from her place. “It’s hard, but someone’s gotta do it.”

Arthur was charmed by her cheek.

***

“Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!” Arthur called from the doorway, making Sansa roll her eyes.

“It’s probably illegal to be that ridiculous.” She threw back at him.

“You’re always hurting me, San.” He whined.

“And you’re always trying to annoy me, so I think we’re even.”

***

“Are you going to keep using pickup lines on me next year?” Sansa asked Arthur five minutes before midnight.

“It depends.” He told her, clearly trying to sound mysterious, but failing miserably. “Will you keep smiling every time I use them?”

She wasn’t expecting that one, and blushed furiously.

“I’ll take the blushing too.” He decided.

“Shut up!”


	3. 3

The next time they saw each other was once again at the beginning of summer’s break, because he went to pick her up at the airport.

He was holding a sign with a stick figure with red hair and her name on it.

“Arthur.” She grinned at him.

“Babe. Your brother is a lazy fucker, but I’m here to rescue you.”

“So sweet of you.” She chuckled, then hugged him.

“Come on, Sans.” He squeezed her. “Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?”

“Definitely lie.”

***

“Hey, Arthur.”

“Hey, love.” He bit into an apple.

“Why do you come to our house to eat all our apples?” She asked.

“I feel lonely without you all.” He sighed.

“Right…” She gave him an amused glance. “What’s the pickup line of the day?”

He turned fully to her, pretended to straighten his clothes, then cleared his throat. “I may not be a genie, but I can make all your wishes come true.”

She arched an eyebrow. “You can bring about world peace?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

***

“Sansa!” She looked around just in time to see Arthur crossing the street in her direction.

He was was wearing a suit, which meant he was probably working.

“Arthur. Hey!”

“Why are you walking around? Did your licence get suspended for driving all the guys crazy?”

“Already getting your pickup line of the day out of the way?” She teased.

“Sure, this way I can just ask you out for lunch.”

“Lunch?”

“It’s that time of the day. Come on, my treat.”

“Sure…” Sansa answered carefully. “Why not?”

***

Sansa plopped down on the couch, feeling miserable.

“What’s wrong, Red?” Arthur asked frowning.

“I have cramps.” She grumbled, uncaring if it’d offend his male sensitivities.

She should’ve known Arthur wouldn’t care about things like that. “Do you need something?”

“I already took something for it.” She gave him a look. “Make me laugh.” She challenged.

“Are you calling me a clown?” Arthur teased, checking her shoulder with his.

“No.” She drawled. “Fine. Then give me my pickup line of the day.”

“I’m almost out of family friendly pickup lines.” He informed her. “I’ll have to start using my naughty list soon, and I’m afraid of your family.”

“You’re afraid of Robb?”

“Fuck no. Of Arya.”

Sansa giggled. “Come on!” She insisted.

“Fine.” He grumbled dramatically. “Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.”

Sansa groaned. “Weak.”

“If I could rearrange the alphabet…”

“Nooooooo!”


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and the love!

If Sansa thought Arthur would eventually grow tired of this whole thing once he started seeing her more frequently, she was dead wrong. **  
**

She graduated from college and came back to her city and he was still at it.

“Was your dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.”

She snickered. “No, but my dad was in the military and we have a claymore in the house, and he supposedly knows how to use it.”

Arthur sighed dramatically. “You’re no fun, Red.”

***

“Hey, Sans, do you have a band-aid?”

“Oh please.”

“What?” Arthur asked confused.

“The band-aid line? It’s terrible.” She pointed out.

“Actually, Back Lack cut his finger, so I really wanted a band-aid…” His grin got huge. “But if you want me telling you I’m on my knees for you…”

“No!” She was blushing.

“I’m eager to please, and I’m all about…”

“Oh my god!”

“Reciprocity, so…”

“Stop talking!”

“… how about we discuss this whole kneeling thing…”

She shoved her hand on her purse and grabbed the first band-aid she found and gave it to Arthur. “Go away!” She ordered.

“Love you, Red.” He called over his shoulder.

***

“Thank God, Red.”

Sansa was startled by Arthur’s sudden entrance in the house. She often wondered if he actually lived there and she just didn’t know that.

“Are you religious?” He asked out of nowhere. “Cause -today -you’re the answer to all my prayers.”

“Is this a pickup line or there’s something else going on?” She asked confused.

“A bit of both, actually.” He admitted. “Please, tell me you’re free now. I need to buy a present for Maggie.”

“And?”

“And I need you to help me. Please! You two are equally classy, I know you can do it.”

Sansa snorted. “What is in it for me?”

She only realized what she’d said once his grin became downright indecent. “Seriously, Red? You’re asking for it.”

She threw a pillow at him. “Careful with your next words.” She warned him.

“You get the pleasure of my company and dinner.”

“Make it dinner and dessert and you have a deal.”

“Do I get to be dessert?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m not answering that.” She decided quite wisely.

***

“On a scale from 0 to ten…”

Sansa lowered her sunglasses, because she knew this would be interesting.

“How angry would you be if I used a less innocent line today?” Arthur asked with the fakest polite interest ever.

“Define ‘less innocent’.” She asked, mildly curious.

“I promise it’s not the ‘vitamin D’ one.”

“Good, because I’d actually slap you. And it wouldn’t be because I’d be offended, but because you’re better than that.”

“I accept those terms.” He gave her a firm look. “If you were a steak you would be well done.”

Sansa snorted. “That’s your ‘less innocent’ pickup line?” She asked incredulous.

“No. I’ve just remembered this one.”

Sansa laughed so hard she snorted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let em know what you think!  
> Also, from the next chapter on, Arthur’s pickup lines are going to get… Well… Not family friendly ;)


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got over excited and ended up finishing the chapter. So I hope you enjoy it.

Sansa was constantly waiting for the moment Arthur would use those supposed naughtier pickup lines, but she was starting to think he was all talk.

“You are so selfish.” He sighed dramatically one day when he was at her family house for dinner.

It was Ned and Cat’s anniversary.

“You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.”

She snorted. “One night?” She repeated. “What a way to make a girl feel appreciated.”

“You know me, Red. I’m all about honesty.”He told her, hand to his heart, the fakest frown on his face. “Besides, as my man Ed Sheeran would say, I’m in love with your body.”

“You’re so romantic.” She told him, her voice dripping sarcasm.

“Romance is dead, Red. Now it’s every man for himself.”

“You’re demented. I don’t know why I keep talking to you.”

“It’s the abs.”

He might be onto something.

***

“Hello reason of my impure thoughts.”

Unfortunately for Arthur, he hadn’t seen that Rickon was there, because he was behind the counter cleaning the milk he’d spilled. “What did you say to Sansa?” He asked, completely shocked, slightly disgusted.

Sansa was very interested in just watching the show unfold.

Unfortunately, Arthur was too smart to get trapped like this. “I wasn’t talking to Sansa.” He made a face. “I was talking to the pizza.” He indicated the box on the counter.

Rickon made a face like he didn’t actually buy this bullshit, but he’d rather believe this than the alternative.

He finished cleaning extra fast and left the kitchen.

“That was close, hm?” Sansa teased, reaching for a slice.

Arthur hummed his agreement. “You know…” He drawled, his voice going lower. “Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.”

Sansa ended up choking and he had to thump her on the back.

***

Sansa had been very excited to start her work at HighGarden atelier. It was a lot of work and the hours were insane, but she was passionate about fashion and it was worth it.

Sometimes she was just too tired.

“Are you alive there, Red?”

“Shut up.” She grumbled.

She was hiding her face between her arms so she could take a power nap before going back to work. They three dresses to finish. For the next day.

“Why are you here?” She asked confused.

“I was going to invite you for lunch.”

“And you couldn’t send a message before coming all the way here?”

He shrugged. “I like seeing that pretty face. Besides, I know you’re busy today, but I was hoping you could add me to your to-do list.”

She groaned. “I’m too tired to even answer that.”

“Hey.” Arthur put his hand on her shoulder. “Seriously, Sansa, take care of yourself, ok? I know you enjoy your work and you’re good at it, but remember to rest.”

Sansa was a bit taken by surprise by how serious he was about it, but she still managed to agree.

***

“Finally you have a free weekend!” Arthur celebrated once she entered the pub.

Sansa smiled at him as she sat down.

“Should we have something together to celebrate? A drink? Dinner? A shower?”

She started laughing and that made Arya curious. “What is she laughing about?” She asked Arthur.

“My feelings.” He told the younger Stark in a dramatic sigh. “She’s always playing games with my heart.”

Arya arched a brow at him. “And you want her to quit playing games with your heart, AJ?”

“Excuse you. I’m clearly Nick Carter.”

***

It didn’t take long for their friends to notice something was going on. Robb actually shuddered every time he heard Arthur flirting with Sansa and Arya always made gagging sounds if she heard any of his lines.

The others had different opinions on the matter at first -Theon whined a lot, wanting to know why Arthur could flirt and he couldn’t -but eventually they all decided it was just as they claimed: a game between friends.

Marge was the person who had the most fun in all of this.

“I’m just saying, darling, a nice date would be good.”

“I don’t want a nice date. I don’t want a date. Period.”

Margaery sighed dramatically. “What should I do with you?”

Sansa chuckled. “I’m just not into this whole Tinder thing. It sounds like just a bunch of people looking for hookups. And nothing against it, but I’m not into casual dating.”

And of course, that was Arthur heard, but it wasn’t what he chose to understand. “So you’re not into casual sex?” He asked, stopping next to Marge. “I’ll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex.” He offered.

Marge laughed and Sansa gave him a look. “Seriously?”

“I’m trying to be helpful here.” He told her, eyes wide, trying to look innocent.

“A regular good samaritan.” Sansa grumbled dryly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It didn’t get as naughty as I planned, because I decided to use some other lines first, but next chapter we’re getting serious here. And Arthur will reveal a certain… oral fixation ;)


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur just went right over that PG13!  
> We're getting naughty. ;)

As they were now all employed adults, they couldn’t have long holidays as they used to. However, their families still had a lot of money and that meant some nice things, like cabins.

Margaery’s family had one and, during a long weekend, they all decided to go together.

It was snowing out, so the view was beautiful.

“Fuck, it’s cold!” Arya grumbled.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a daughter of Winterfell, blood of the North, whatever?” Theon snarked.

“I’ll throw you in the middle of the ocean and see if you can swim back, squid brain.” She glared at him.

“I’ll get this for you, Red.” Arthur offered, picking her bag up from the car’s trunk.

“Thanks, Arthur.” She smiled at him. “You don’t mind the cold?”

“Not really.” He gave her a side look and a grin and Sansa got ready for… “I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs, though.”

“OH MY GOD!” She screeched. She’d been completely unprepared for that.

“What’s going on?” Robb wanted to know.

“Nothing.” Arthur called to him, then winked at Sansa.

That great motherfudger!

***

They got into the house and settled in. Sansa was checking out the small library whe Arthur found her.

“Hey. Do you know what has four legs and doesn’t have the most beautiful girl on it?” He didn’t even give her time to think about it. “My bed. Wanna fix that?”

She gave him a look. “Is this how it’s going to be now.”

“Oh yes.” His grin was pure wickedness. “Unless you can’t handle it.”

She glared. “Bring it on, Pendragon.

***

They were all around the kitchen when Arthur came in, rubbing his hair with a towel.

“Were you showering?” Theon asked.

And sure, anyone could have said it was fucking obvious, and Arya actually looked like she was about to do just that, but Arthur beat them all. “Just washing my face so Sansa has a clean place to sit on.”

There was a chain of reactions, but the most notables were: Theon’s extremely loud “The fuck?”, then Robb hitting his head on a cabinet and Margaery spit spraying the sip of wine she’d just taken on Gendry’s face.

Sansa was so focused on the last one, she was uncontrollably laughing while the others looked at Arthur as if he’d lost his mind.

“What?” He asked innocently. “You asked.”

“What the fuck is going on here?” Robb demanded.  
“The PG13 pickup lines are over, I guess.” Sansa said, trying to get her laughter under control.

“And you’re okay with this?” Aryas asked shocked.

“No, Arya. I enjoy making women extremely uncomfortable with sexual jokes they never asked for.” Arthur replied dryly.

“I asked my sister.” Arya glared at him.

“I’m fine, Arya.” Sansa assured her sister. “It’s actually.”

“You think this is funny?” Theon asked confused.

“I mean, if he was seriously trying to…”

“Woo you, sweetheart.” Arthur offered.

“Ok. If he was trying to woo me with this bullshit, I’d hit him, but you know…”

“We’re just keeping the friendship fresh.” Arthur winked at Robb.

“You two are so gross.” Arya decided.

***

“Careful there, Sans. It’s slippery.” Arthur offered her a hand to help her get down from the rock.

“Thanks.” She smiled at him.

“Whose idea was this?” He grumbled.

“Don’t you like hiking?” She asked surprised.

“I love hiking. But not when it’s fucking freezing.”

“Such a baby.” She teased.

“And here I am, keeping you company.” He sighed dramatically. “Evil woman.”

She linked their arms and pressed against his side. “Quick, give me my pickup line while my family isn’t around.” She whispered conspiratorially to him.

“A-ha!” He whispered back. “You’re enjoying your naughty pickup lines.”

“They’re actually yours.” She pointed out.

He pretended to think for a minute. “When we get back, wanna save water by showering together?”

“You’ve been better.” She informed him, with a sad sigh.

“Do not challenge me, Red. You know how I get.”

She just snorted.

***

Gendry had a peculiar talent: he made the best hot chocolate in the world.

No joke: Sansa had never drunk a hot chocolate as good as his. He refused to share his secret since he was amazingly proud of it.

Sansa didn’t care as long as he kept providing it.

On that night they were playing board games by the fireplace and drinking said great hot chocolate. She knew that Theon, Robb and Arthur had desecrated theirs by putting alcohol in it, but that was their problem.

Arya and Robb were arguing over Monopoly’s rules and everybody else was just waiting to continue the game.

“Arthur, pass me the Oreos.” She asked softly.

“Here, babe.”

Sansa opened the cookie to eat the filling first, when she noticed that Arthur was doing his best to contain laughter. “Oh no.” She sighed. “What?”

“You might not wanna hear this.” He warned.

“Just say it already.”

He cleared his throat, like he was about to start a presentation. “Your legs are like an Oreo. I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.”

“Ew!” She pushed the Oreo into his mouth.

Arthur’s reply was impossible to be understood, and she was happy about it.

***

“Hey, Sansa!” Arthur hurried in her direction, the biggest, stupidiest grin she’d ever seen.

He was so drunk.

“Yes?”

“Let’s play a game!” He declared. “The fastest person to take their clothes off wins.”

“What?”

“Come on, slow poke!”

And the he pulled off his sweater and his T-shirt and ran down the hallway. Sansa was left standing there in complete shock. “What the hell?”

Then she realized she could see a pair of pants down that way.

“Oh no!”


	7. 7

It was Catia’s birthday when Sansa started getting a strange feeling.

Catia’s father had been extremely rigid with her; she only studied in girls-only schools, had curfew throughout college, wasn’t aloud to go to parties and her friends had to be approved by him.

Once Vortigern died, Arthur became Catia’s guardian, and he did his best to give his cousin everything she didn’t have before.

However, getting Catia to ask for anything was like pulling a tooth out from a pitbull. She’d spent so much time just accepting whatever her father gave her, she always thought she was bothering others when she asked for whatever she wanted.

Fortunately, Sansa and Maggie were stubborn when they wanted something, so they managed to make her confess what she really wanted for her birthday: the sweet 16 she never got

Big-ass dress, a tiara and a theme like winter wonderland, or starry night or something like that.

She was embarrassed about having something like that for her 20th birthday, so the girls got together and decided everybody was going to be a princess for a day, so Catia could feel better.

That was how Sansa found herself wearing a cobalt blue dress with a very full skirt.

“Red.” Arthur looked beyond amused, even though he was dressed as prince charming -that itself was the funniest thing Sansa had ever seen. “Nice dress.”

“Yeah… There are wheels under the skirt to help me move.” She joked.

Arthur chuckled. “You were something like that before, right? For you sweet 16, but yours wal golden, right?”

Sansa groaned. “Yes. I was trying to impress Joffrey Baratheon at the time.”

Arthur made a face of disgust. “Sorry I mentioned it.”

“It’s fine. You’re quite dashing yourself. Disney called and said prince charming is missing.”

Arthur’s grin turned delighted. “Look at you using horrible pickup lines on me, babe.”

“Where’s mine?” She demanded.

He sighed, like she was being difficult. “Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.”

“Meh.”

“You’re getting cheeky.” He informed her in a huff. “Listen…” He cleared his throat. “I promised to dance the first dance with Catia, but…” He picked her hand up. “Save a dance for me?”

What was going on? “Of course.”

He dropped a kiss to the back of her hand. “You’re the best.”

WHAT WAS GOING ON?

***

Yara Greyjoy gave the most insane barbecues. It was always supposed to be simple and then suddenly it became a party with a dj, too much alcohol and high chances of a wet T-shirt contest.

Sansa always left before the contest because it was embarrassing to her brother competing and then getting upset because he didn’t win (Percival won almost every year).

For now she was sunbathing by the pool and keeping her eye on the stage. When the DJ started it was time to leave.

“Sweetheart.” Arthur sat beside her. “Do you have sunscreen?”

“Yes.” She took her sunglasses off. “You need some?”

“Please.”

She passed him the bottle and Arthur pulled his tank top off before he started applying it.

It was absolutely ridiculous how hot he was. Like, seriously. Like… Wow.

Yeah.

That.

“Can you do my back, Red?” He was asking her.

“So this was all a ploy to get my hands on you?” She teased, even as she grabbed the bottle.

“Yes. The idea of you spreading that creamy white substance on my back…”

“EW! Arthur! Seriously?”

His shoulders were shaking with his laughter. “I’m talking about sunscreen, Samsa. I have no idea what your depraved mind is thinking about.”

“Shut up.” She grumbled, as she started spreading it on his back. “I might need a whole bottle for your shoulders.”

He threw her a look over said shoulders. “Enjoy the opportunity there.”

She rolled her eyes and quickly finished the task. “All done.”

“You’re the best.” He turned quickly and dropped a kiss to her cheek, before getting up.

“Hey, Arthur!” She called before he got too far. “Where’s my line?”

“Oh, right.” He looked from one side to the other, as if waiting for a pickup line to show. “Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.”

“It’s the swimming trunks.” She threw back. “Your package is asking to be checked.

His face was priceless.

***

It didn’t take long for Sansa to come to a conclusion: Arthur was only giving her pickup lines when she asked for them.

In the past, he’d occasionally do that, but now it was all the time; unless she asked, he didn’t give her lines anymore.

Sansa was divided; was he tired of it?Should she keep asking? They’d been doing thar for a while now, so maybe he got tired of the game.

“Sansa? Are you ok?”

She gave him a smile. “I am.”

Arthur didn’t look convinced at all. “Hey, you don’t look fine.”

“Pickup line to make me happy?” She asked out of curiosity, to test her theory.

“You sure a pickup line will make you better?” He asked. “How about ice cream?”

“You don’t want to do this anymore?” She asked. “It’s okay if you’re tired of it.”

“It’s not that.” He hurried to say. “I…” He scratched his chin. “I’m not tired. It’s not a game.”

“Right…”

“Hey, Red.” He put his hand on her shoulder, a solemn look on his face. “If you’re ever sad, I can offer you my shoulder to rest your legs.”

She rolled her eyes and said something cheeky back, but…

Something was wrong.

***

They all got together to help Marge and Robb with their move. Margaery had so many clothes it was quite scary.

Sansa was surprised when Arthur showed up; he’d already apologized and said he wouldn’t be able to come because of some problem at the company.

“I thought you were busy.” She told him as he got closer.

“I finished early and decided to come.” He pried the box she was holding from her hands. “There’s a closet situation inside, you should head in before it becomes a full emergency.”

“Fine.”

“One more thing, Sansa.” He called.

“Yes?”

“Are you a cowgirl?” He threw a look at her jeans. “Because I can see you riding me.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Am I wearing a hat on that vision?”

“Well, now you are.”

***

Marge promised dinner for whoever helped, which meant take out and drinking. At some point Theon arrived -way after the heavy lifting had ended -and brought a tequila bottle.

They were talking and drinking and laughing among boxes and the very few pieces of furniture that were in their proper places.

She was sitting on the floor, near the coffee table, watching as Marge tried to convince Arya to play drunk twister. Arthur was beside her and she was pretty sure he was almost falling asleep.

She turned to him and he was looking straight at her, his face resting on his hand and a strange grin on his lips.

“You’re so drunk.” She accused.

“Probably.” He agreed easily.

He was staring. “What are you thinking about?” She prompted.

He sighed. “That I’d love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips.”

Sansa’s heart skipped a bit. This seemed different, this wasn’t…

Arthur’s eyes rounded, like he’d just realized what he’d said. He shook his head, trying to get his head working again. He cleared his throat. “And the ones on your face too.” He added after a way too long pause, making it fall flat.

What the hell was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is going on with Arthur???
> 
> Next one is the last one ;)
> 
> Let me know your feelings!


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one!  
> Thank you so much for the kind comments and all the kudos!

Sansa wasn’t crazy, was she?

Arthur had meant he wanted to kiss her, hadn’t he?

And not in a silly, this-is-just-a-joke kind of way either. He had sounded…

He sounded sincere.

Or maybe this was just wishful thinking.

What was the point in denying that she’d been flattered by the attention? She had, but it wasn’t only that.

Arthur had something about him that was magnetic. It wasn’t just the fact that he was ridiculously hot, because Arthur was much more than that. He was smart, kind, funny, an annoying little shit… When he was around, everything was better.

She could not believe she was… What? In love? With a crush? Crazy about him?

This was so difficult!

After the mishap with his words and which of her lips he wanted to kiss, Arthur went right back to his pickup lines and Sansa wasn’t sure how she felt about it.

On one hand, she did enjoy it -it was legitimately funny -and on the other…

“I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses… One leg over each ear.” He declared one morning.

On the other hand now she had that picture in mind.

“You mean right now?” She asked him, frowning. “Because it isn’t that sunny. Maybe a pair of reading glasses?”

He rolled his eyes. “Now you’re just playing with my feelings.” He grumbled.

***

Sansa entered the room and looked around, looking for somewhere to sit.

“What’s wrong, Red?” Arthur asked from his place.

“I’ll need to go and grab a chair.”

He put his hand to his chest. “Sansa…” He started seriously. “As long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.”

She snorted.

“Dude!” Arya protested.

“I think my family might oppose that idea.”

“Lap then?” He pointed at his own lap.

“I swear to God, Arthur, you’re testing your fucking luck.” Robb protested.

Sansa winked at Arthur. “Raincheck?”

“It’s a date, Red.”

***

“You do know that Arthur isn’t playing around, right?”

Sansa sighed. “I kind of do… But I’m not sure.”

Marge rolled her eyes dramatically. “Sansa, you’re supposed to be the smart Stark sibling.”

“Actually that’s Bran.”

Marge turned to Maggie and pouted. “Do something.”

Maggie chuckled. “I agree with her. Arthur isn’t just teasing you anymore.”

“But why won’t he say anything?” Sansa whined, letting her frustration show.

“So you’re interested!” Marge celebrated.

“I’d have to be stupid not to be.” Sansa grumbled.

“You know… I have an idea, but it’s a bit mean.” Maggie offered.

“Sounds amazing.” Marge encouraged her.

“Arthur has been starting the whole flirting, and I think that you answering him back is awesome, but what if you threw a few at him?”

“Uh… I like that. Beat him at his own game.”

“How does that help me?”

“Probably it won’t.” Maggie admitted. “But it’ll be fun.”

Well… She wasn’t wrong.

***

“Hello, Sansa.”

“Hi, Arthur.” She offered her cheek for a kiss. “Nice pants.”

Arthur looked down at his jeans. “Thanks?”

“Can I test the zipper?” She asked, her most innocent expression on.

Arthur’s eyes rounded for a second, before he exploded in laughter. “Red! Trying to beat me at my own game. Shame on you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Game on, Sansa Stark.”

***

Sansa closed her umbrella as she entered the pub.

“Sans!” Arya waved at her.

“Sorry I’m late. It’s pouring out there.” She told her friends.

Arthur just hummed his understanding, his lips pressed together.

“Just say it.” Sansa said in a sigh.

“Should we got out there?” He gesture towards the door with his head. “I’ll kiss you in the rain so you can get twice as wet.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “Is that a promise?”

“Oh Red…”

“Don’t you guys start this!”

Arthur and Sansa exchanged amused looks.

***

Sansa knocked on Arthur’s door. His secretary told her he was free, but he looked quite busy.

“Sansa.” He gave her a smile. “To what do I owe the honor?”

“Mother sent you this.” She showed him a bag her mother had filled with food, because she was constantly concerned that Arthur was eating properly.

“Your mother is the best.” He sighed. “Put it there, please.” He indicated the corner of his office.

She left it where he told her, then turned back to him. “You look really busy. I’ll just go.”

“No.” He was giving her his full attention. “I need a break anyway.”

“What time do you get off? Can I watch?”

He snorted. “Good one, Red. But I have this doubt… Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you but I definitely should be.”

She gasped. “Careful there, Arthur, or I’ll fall madly in bed with you.”

“Now I’m starting to think you only want me for by body.” He sighed dramatically.

“What did you say about romance?” She pretended to think. “Oh yes. That it was dead.”

“I know CPR.” He told her simply.

That was when Sansa noticed he was closer somehow. All this time they’d been closing the distance between themselves, and now they were face to face again.

“How long have we been doing this?” She asked him indicating the space between them.

“You think I keep count, Red?” He teased. “How cute.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Listen… I need to get something off my chest.” He started to say.

Sansa crossed her fingers. “Is it your shirt? Say it is.”

He gave her a look. “Now you’re just being difficult.”

“Now you know how I feel.” She told him with no mercy.

“Point.” He grumbled.

“Besides… It’s a great shirt. It’d look great on me… After.”

Arthur groaned. “This is so unfair.” He touched a strand of her hair and then pushed it all behind her shoulder, gently. His phone rang. “I’ve got to get back.” He didn’t sound happy about it.

“I know.” She gave him a smile. “Don’t work too much, ok?”

“Sure.”

Sansa was already at the door when he called her. “Hey, Red.”

She turned back “Yes?”

He was covering the receiver of the phone, a grin on his lips. “Our 4th anniversary is coming up. Wear something sexy for me?”

She grinned right back at him. “It’s a date.”

***

Sansa was bit nervous, she admitted.

This time it seemed different. When she said ‘a date’ and he just stood there grinning stupidly at her… It felt like they’d agreed on it. And it was a date.

So there she was, wearing a nice dress -not a sexy one -and entering the same old pub, but with a different feeling inside her.

She took two steps in and someone run into her and made her lose her balance. Sansa didn’t fall only because someone held her, hands on her waist.

“You okay?” Of course it was Arthur.

“I’m fine.” She let out a relieved breath.

“You know, Red…” He drawled. “I guess you just fell for me.”

She turned to glare at him. “Shut up.” But she was smiling.

“Well, damn.” He sighed. “Red, if beauty were time, you’d be eternity.” His eyes were soft as he looked at her.

Sansa felt her heart skip a beat, butterflies dancing the conga and a whole lot of other things. This… This was different.

This was better.

“Thank you.” She told him, even as she felt her face getting warm.

“Your hand looks heavy.” Arthur said cheerily. “Here, let me hold it for you.”

And he grabbed her hand and guided her to the table.

***

Two weeks later they were cuddling on her sofa and she was wearing his shirt.

“Hey, Red.”

“Yes?”

“Did it hurt?”

She snorted. “When I fell from Heaven?”

“No.” He grinned at her. “When you fell for me.”

“No, but I did skin my knee.”

“I’ve got a band-aid if you want one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll try to post the one with Cat soon, because I want to write the other one I thought about… I’m terrible.
> 
> Let me know your feelings.


End file.
